and then she fell in LOVE...
Lent…What?
My dream of a complete Lent season has been mostly shattered only two weeks in the game. This week has been hell week finals week and it has taken every little thing in me not to just crawl into a ball and wail in the middle of my floor. Short of drinking pop, activating Facebook and/or going on a date, everything else has been fiddled with that I was supposed to abstain from. Judge me… for I thought I would care, but at this moment I don’t. Can I say that I won’t feel disappointed with myself later for letting my young tender use the one and only key to unclank the lock come and enjoy time with me or posting on twitter after one hilariously crazy night with the girls??? Who knows but if that time comes around I’ll deal with beating myself up over it then but now I’ll just LIVE.
I digress…
Seriously I had to ask myself “who the fuck am I” after this past weekend’s chain of events. I summed it up to being a gal just wanting to have my fun while eventually changing the world one day at a time with random acts of kindness/good deeds. At the right time this week I read a blog post from the Happy Black Woman entitled “Your Version of Happy is the Only One that Matters” and to sum it up it said that you MUST do what makes YOU happy. This is something I need a reminder on from time to time and it scares me because I do not want to miss out on opportunities because I am living for what someone else wants me to do. Right now pacing myself, loving on tender, being slightly a riot on twitter, developing a solid mentoring program for PGRF, pulling a “Carrie B” ( I’ll fill you all in on that one day) , crying when shit gets too tough, and finally graduating is what is on the top of my happiness list. Add in family and friend outings and I am set for a little while longer.
My main goal for Lent was to achieve a steady pace and get out some of the rambling conflicts going on within myself for the time being. I did just that. In two weeks I managed to carve enough time for me to THINK and LISTEN to what my mind and spirit where brewing up and trust it is not over yet. I needed a healthy balance and I am on that track. Not everything is peaches and cream, hence finals week stress, but I’ve found better ways of dealing with things when they a aren’t perfectly aligning… better yet I have come to understand that they probably never will be perfect and that is ok.
It’s not always the body that needs a change. :)
Now.
This is all of how I am feeling right now…
Last week of class - 3 finals this week, 1 the next
Random ass shit happening on top of everything else
Can someone pass me a *blank* and a gimlet?
Thanks
p.s. I’ve learned how to use gifs… Ha ha haaaaaaaa
Blah…
This weekend has built me up yet tore me down. I need a vacation of some sort soon.
The makings of a great night to come…
Eveeeeerybody…shots,shots,shots,shots!
Brainstorming…
I love it when my mind is free to work and trust there are plenty of things brewing up there ready to be set out. I never really understood why God took me on the path that HE did these past few years, but now it is all making perfect sense.
In a nutshell…
I am exactly where I NEED to be.
